Who would you visit?

For the last few days I have been pondering on thoughts that were provoked by a country song. Now don’t get me wrong, I have heard this particular country song a thousand times before, and each time I hear it I reflect on the words. This time was different, I felt compelled to say something.

The Country song I am referring to is Justin Moore’s  IF HEAVEN WEREN’T SO FAR AWAY. I’ve posted the lyrics below

“If Heaven Wasn’t So Far Away”

Every day I drive to work across Flint River bridge
A hundred yards from the spot where me and grandpa fished
There’s a piece of his old fruit stand on the side of Sawmill Road
He’d be there peelin’ peaches if it was twenty years ago
And what I wouldn’t give
To ride around in that old truck with him

If heaven wasn’t so far away
I’d pack up the kids and go for the day
Introduce them to their grandpa
Watch ’em laugh at the way he talks
I’d find my long lost cousin John
The one we left back in Vietnam
Show him a picture of his daughter now
She’s a doctor and he’d be proud
Then tell him we’d be back in a couple of days
In the rear view mirror we’d all watch ’em wave
Yeah, and losing them wouldn’t be so hard to take
If heaven wasn’t so far away

I’d hug all three of those girls we lost from the class of ’99
And I’d find my bird dog Bo and take him huntin’ one more time
I’d ask Hank why he took those pills back in ’53
And Janis to sing the second verse of “Me and Bobby McGee”
Sit on a cloud and visit for a while
It’d do me good just to see them smile

If heaven wasn’t so far away
I’d pack up the kids and go for the day
Introduce them to their grandpa
Watch ’em laugh at the way he talks
I’d find my long lost cousin John
The one we left back in Vietnam
Show him a picture of his daughter now
She’s a doctor and he’d be proud
Then tell him we’d be back in a couple of days
In the rear view mirror we’d all watch ’em wave
Yeah, and losing them wouldn’t be so hard to take
If heaven wasn’t so far
If heaven wasn’t so far
If heaven wasn’t so far away
So far away
So far away

So my thoughts went a little something like this…if heaven wasn’t so far away who would I have on my list to go and see! Well as I’m sure we all have those special ones that are automatic and on the top of the list. My top five would be My Dad, My Grandparents on both sides of the family and of course my niece. But after all the customary visits I would need to make, who else would I seek out in heaven to have a conversation with? My thoughts turned to a particular President. I would love to ask President Theodore Roosevelt all kinds of questions? One that stood out in my mind was, what was his take on the future and ask what he saw that made him want to preserve so much land for National Parks. I have always loved the fact that he did this. I know most people thought he was crazy in doing so. I know he loved the outdoors.

My thoughts then turned to who else would I talk with? This is where I had a hard time deciding… I finally decided I just wanted to pull up a seat on a near by bench and watch all the activities going on in heaven. I pictured it much like a City or town. With buildings but instead of everyone hiding inside they were sitting at tables, on porches, swings, on blankets on the ground where ever they were comfortable and talking with one another. I pictured Albert Einstein sitting on the stairs with a group around him talking about his theories, life or even discussing last nights college basketball scores. I pictured those who had gone before learning from those who have just arrived. What a different world it is now compared to when they were alive. So much to learn and Vice Versa the world was different back then compared to now.  I could see all the presidents sitting together discussing why they decided to be presidents or trying to figure out who was the best while in office. I could see families sitting around an old style house shooting the breeze and playing games, dancing to music and relaxing.  It was almost as if it were an old movie. Everyone was happy, yes there would be disagreements but nothing  that couldn’t be talked out.  I know that those who are in Heaven can see us all down here and what we are doing with our lives. I also picture them laughing at some of the crazy and silly things we do, as well as shaking there heads and yelling at us for the choices in life we may have screwed up on or thought about doing with our lives.

I say all of that to say this… if we don’t look back and discuss the past then what does the future  have? We learn from our past and if it’s not taught or if we don’t remember our past then we don’t learn anything in the future. I have made sure that my kids know not only about my past, but the past that was handed down to me from my family that I grew up listening to. Stories are important, our heritage is important, knowledge is important!

So who would you visit? What questions would you ask them? Would you keep going back if you could?

It’s small things that make your day.

It’s the small things that can make your day.  A hug from a good friend, an encouraging word, a visit from a close friend, a former Co worker who brings you and your fellow Co workers a flower from her garden! image Little things just like these and so much more can change a moment in some ones life.  Granted, as the person who is doing the good deed, isn’t always aware what they have done. But take it from me, one who’s been on both sides of the giving and receiving of a gift. You may just be gently surprised to find out later in life from someone you thought wasn’t  paying attention or that they didn’t care at the time. It has a way of changing their life when there ready to see it! That’s the key they have to be ready and when that happens you would be surprised what small thing actually changed their life for the better! A while back I was wondering if I had made any influences in anyone’s life. And being that I hadn’t  been told by anyone that I had. All I could do is hope that if I did, that it had helped them In some way. I went on with my life and a few months down the road, out of the blue a person from my past contacted me via Facebook, I hadn’t spoken to this person since elementary school! They proceeded to tell me what little thing my family and I did, had made an impact in the person’s life and how when it came time to change their life they had something to hold on to, to make the change. This street works both ways and I know I’m probably preaching to the choir but….negative thoughts, comments and  even actions can have an effect on others.  And granted those who say the words at the time don’t think they will hurt the person. But I’m here to tell you from experience they do and im sure we have all experienced this in our life. Granted even the person the harsh or just negative words are being said to at the time may think that they didn’t hurt either, but over time if they hear those words said over and over and over even in a minuet  way, they start to believe the words they have heard over the course of a few months, or over the course of a life time! The person my think I’m  strong in my thoughts  and granted they may be, but those words still linger in their brain and after enough time start to wear down the strong thoughts and even with the smallest crack in the person’s resolve it can seep in and begin to do damage. Another big area, is if a thought from a smart person is taken out of context, or even misunderstood. For example you’ve been asked to draw or craft a picture from a scene in a book that a group of you are reading.  Your proud because you accomplished what you had set out to do in your mind. But a fellow person in your book group may see the same thing that you do but with a spin or twist that you didn’t see. Which neither one is right or wrong it’s just different. They ask you about what they see in your picture but instead of trying to see what they see or understand what they see in your picture you tell them they are weird  for even thinking that….. without even knowing it you’ve just been that extra little push that was need to break that persons resolve of strength. Now they are questioning everything that they had held to be true and right and comforting to them!  We’ve all been there in life. And others are better at picking up the broken pieces and putting them back together than others, then you have those who can’t pick up the pieces as well and need help to do so or it takes them longer to pick up those pieces.  Just remember this, no matter what we’re all a little quirky, we’re all special, we’re all smarter than others in areas, we’re all scared at times, we’re all happy at times and we’re all doing the best we can!  So take the time to really and truly understand what was said or why someone is the way they are before you react.

Remember when……

Well my sister M and my brother in law B will be heading to Washington DC toward the end of the month.  When talking to my sister tonight  on the phone she asked if there was anything  that I want them to bring back from there. She always asks me that same question when they go somewhere that I have lived at before. I told her I couldn’t think of anything that I’m truly missing from that area. Which got me to thinking………..about life while I lived there. Questions like what did I do with my time? What did me and the family go and do while we lived there? And all that I can see and think of that comes to mind is nothing! How can that be? I lived there for a whole year! Yes I could remember the house, my great friend and his son, and me spending a lot of time with my kids but thats all I can remember…..which isn’t all that disturbing considering I know why I can’t remember anything. I’ve blocked it from my memory, its connected to some bad memories, hurt feelings and some down right just raw emotions.

I said all of that to say this, the hurt feelings have healed thanks to God’s help and me doing the right thing and forgiving like I’m supposed to. The bad memories are still there they just don’t hurt as bad its kind of like when the sun is shining in your eyes and you have to squint your eyes to see, and it has a haziness to it. Every time I have to think of  the bad memories, I feel better in knowing that God’s hand is there to help and guide me through the thoughts and feelings that come with it.  The raw emotions are now just a dull roar, until someone finds that one tiny itty bitty exposed area and jabs a King Arthur sized sword through it.  How does one protect ones self from others in finding those tiny spots in life? How does one build ones armor up? Those are the questions I am now left with. I believe that I am the one who has to find these answers  but not only for my sake but for those who are close to me and they need the same answer.

I firmly believe  that God places people in our lives for reasons that sometimes aren’t always evident but sometimes they are. This is one of the those times. I also believe that God also places people in our lives that not are there to help you, but your in their life to help them as well! Even if you feel you don’t deserve to help others or that you have the knowledge needed to help those he has placed in your life.  Just remember Your NOT alone!

Valentines 2015

Well, tomorrow is Valentine’s Day. This year as every year since they were born, I will be spending it with my two kids. H is 10 and A is 8. They are really good kids. We will start the day off with them making   Valentines day cards!  We were thinking of going on a hike through Keystone Ancient Forest in Sand Springs, but I’m not to sure i want to be out in the afternoon when they huge cold front storm is suppose to  roll in…..temps can drop in a hurry here. So the saying goes Don’t like the weather either cross the street or wait five minutes for the weather to change. Now granted H is in the Boy Scouts, and our motto is Be Prepared! I still worry a little bit when the weather wants to be wonky! But other than the cards were not sure what we want to do? Any ideas?

My perfect Valentine’s day this year would be to sleep in……..feels like ages since I’ve gotten to do that. I would also like to get a huge chunk of my Personal and Scout TO DO LIST done! We seem to be on the go most nights of the week, me more than the kids. I am grateful for my mom who helps me tremendously  with the kids. It wouldn’t be such a smooth transition for us all if she wasn’t helping us out! Thanks mom!

So with Valentine’s being tomorrow, my question is how do you date with kids? Now don’t get me wrong I’ve dated some since the Divorce but find it really hard. Online dating is just plain weird…….seems like everyone just looks and don’t talk to each other much. Then there are those out there who you just want to avoid like the plague just for there sheer names, for example: Stud muffin, Mr incognito, or my all time favorite BUBBA!  Its like REALLY? come on guys think before you pick and post your user names! Oh well, I will keep looking but I do have a very dear friend M who says we can be Crazy Cat Ladies together! I know when the timing is right God will bring my other half into my life, I just have to have faith, patience and be strong for me and my kids.